MAKING MY PEACE … with being a little delusional
When beginning something, whether it’s a new job, a creative project, a relationship, or starting a business, people often take steps forward without full knowledge of what lies ahead. Oddly enough, that’s sometimes a good thing.
If humans were perfectly rational, they might never start anything new at all. It takes a little delusional belief sometimes to get started. Psychologists understand that almost everyone has mild distortions or delusions of reality and that some of these delusions are not only harmless but helpful.
The word “delusion” comes from the Latin word “deludere” meaning “to play, to mock, to deceive.” Historically, it refers to beliefs that stray far from reality.
Psychologists use terms such as optimism bias, unreasonable optimism, the planning fallacy, and the confidence effect. From Tali Sharot’s research, “optimism bias” is the belief that things will turn out better than statistics suggest. In behavioural psychology, “the planning fallacy” is the tendency to underestimate how long things will take, yet still get them done, and “the confidence effect” is when people often begin something challenging because they imagine they can handle it, even when they don’t yet know how.
In the context of Rainy Day Healing, we’re not talking about clinical delusions or ignoring serious warning signs. We’re talking about unreasonable hope, optimism that outruns current evidence, believing in possibilities before they are visible, and starting the journey before we feel ready. This kind of healthy irrationality gives us courage, momentum, and creativity.
The benefits of being a little delusional include the following:
- It lowers the barrier to entry: If people knew every challenge of starting a business, writing a book, or changing their life, most would never begin. A little bit of ignorance, though a bit delusional, protects people from paralysis.
- It fuels persistence: Hope, even slightly unrealistic hope, keeps people going long enough to build resilience.
- It sparks creativity: Innovation often begins with, “What if…?” which is a question that lies just outside the boundaries of reality.
- It keeps anxiety in check: A little delusion, such as “I can figure this out,” reduces the fear that stops many people from taking positive risks.
- It supports emotional recovery: During hard times, belief in a better future, before there is proof, is one of the strongest predictors of healing.
The downsides of being too delusional include the following:
- Overcommitment: People may take on more than they can handle because they underestimate complexity.
- Denial of reality: If optimism becomes avoidance, problems deepen instead of dissolving.
- Ignoring red flags: Believing things will “just work out” can prevent necessary planning and boundary-setting.
- Burnout: Unrealistic expectations can collapse under pressure.
- Losing touch with support: Extreme self-belief can make some people feel that they must do everything alone.
The goal is not to eliminate delusion. The goal is to stay in the healthy range by staying grounded, by saying something like, “I don’t know everything that’s coming, but I believe I can learn, adapt, and grow.” This middle path combines optimism with self-awareness.
Though delusion shouldn’t be permanent, a little amount of imaginative optimism protects people’s courage, encourages experimentation, nurtures healing, and opens doors that realism alone might close.
To stay grounded, do micro-experiments by testing small low-risk activities, such as doing a pilot project, trialling an activity for a short period – maybe a month, writing a sample chapter to share or mull over, or accepting a mini business offer. Then take note of what happens and how you feel because reality gives fast feedback.
To stay grounded, create a “reality check circle” by choosing two or three trusted people who support your ideas but tell you the truth. If they don’t panic at your ambition, their feedback can keep you balanced.
To stay grounded, use the two-column method by writing the following to help distinguish between hope and fact without curbing your enthusiasm:
Column A: “What I believe about this goal.”
Column B: “What I actually know so far.”
To stay grounded, check your energy level, not just your ideas, because reality often shows up in your body: Are you exhausted, or excited but overwhelmed, or energised and curious? Your nervous system will tell you the truth about your feelings.
To stay grounded, keep a “small wins” log. Noticing actual, concrete progress prevents unrealistic expectations because momentum becomes visible.
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Making my peace with being a little delusional, I try these three short exercises:
Three hopes, three facts exercise: To balance imagination with evidence, for 5 minutes, I pause and breathe slowly. I write down 3 hopes – things I want to be true but aren’t yet, e.g., “I hope readers connect with my story,” “I hope the business grows,” “I hope I stay healthy through training.” I write down 3 facts that are definitely true right now about my goal or situation. I read both sides aloud. I allow hopes to lift me up and facts to ground me. This helps to keep my optimism intact while connecting my feet firmly to what’s real.
Sensory scan for reality anchoring: To keep in the present moment, for 2 minutes, I sit comfortably and notice 5 things I can see, 4 things I can touch, 3 things I can hear, 2 things I can smell, and one long breath out. This helps to ground my nervous system and reduce the tendency to drift too far into wishful thinking or catastrophic thinking.
Next small step reality check: To prevent over-delusion, for 2 minutes, I think of my big goal. I ask myself, “What is one tiny, non-heroic action I can take in the next 24 hours?” and I write it down. Then I actually do it. Examples include write 100 words, email one potential collaborator, set a 10-minute timer to sort out my receipts, or draft a title for a blog post. This helps to start with a small step, no matter how ambitious my vision is. This prevents me from drifting into fantasy while maintaining forward movement.
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Rainy Day Healing blogs: “This kind of quiet, honest reflection is exactly what makes Rainy Day Healing such a special space.” Chaz. T., USA
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