MAKING MY PEACE … with removing anxiety like taking off a coat
… a powerful way to reframe our language about anxiety …
What if your anxiety was not in you, but on you? If it is on you, then it can be taken off, can’t it?
In English, we often say “I am anxious” – a statement that subtly fuses our identity with the feeling itself, the feeling inside us.
In the Irish language (Gaeilge), the phrase is quite different: “Tá imní orm” translates literally as “There is anxiety on me.” Briana Ní Loingsigh on Substack Foghlaimeoir explains that, in Irish, our emotions are on us. We are not our anxiety. It is simply on us.
In this small shift of language lies a powerful reframing.
Instead of people being anxiety, the Irish perspective describes anxiety as something that rests on the person. It is not in us or of us. It is on us. It is something we carry, something that can be put on … and perhaps, taken off.
Think of anxiety as a coat. Some days it’s a windbreaker, but on other days it’s a heavy winter coat that you didn’t choose but somehow found yourself wearing.
It might come uninvited.
It might cling.
It might weigh you down.
But a coat is not your skin.
And anxiety is not your identity.
This simple linguistic distinction gives us a non-judgmental tool to observe what we’re feeling without being consumed by it. It helps us see emotions as experiences, not definitions.
If anxiety is on us, can we take it off? When we say “Anxiety is on me” we create just enough space to imagine change. If anxiety is on us, then maybe it can also be taken off us.
We can:
Shrug it off.
Hang it up.
Unbutton it gently, layer by layer.
Carry it less tightly.
Ask someone to help us hold it for a while.
Sometimes that coat needs to stay on because it’s cold out there, we need it for protection, or we are not quite ready to let it go. And that’s okay. Remember though, we are not the coat; we are just wearing it.
Language shapes thought. How we name what we feel changes how we relate to it.
Instead of saying “I am anxious” try saying:
“I’m feeling anxiety right now.”
“There is anxiety on me today.”
“Something is weighing on me, but it’s not who I am.”
It’s not just semantics. It’s self-compassion. We might visualize taking off the coat. We could place the coat on a hook. We might imagine handing it to the wind. We might just unzip it, loosen its hold, and breathe.
We don’t need to force it to come off. But we do deserve to have a breath of air between usand what we are carrying.
Like all weather, anxiety passes. It rolls in and rolls out. “Tá imní orm” reminds us that our emotions visit, they cling, they pass, but they are not us. And sometimes, the best healing starts with the smallest shift in how we speak to ourselves.
Making my peace with removing anxiety like taking off a coat, inspired by the Irish way of speaking, I do the following:
Take a quiet moment and sit with the idea that anxiety is a coat.
I ask myself about the weight of the anxiety coat.
Am I wearing a lightweight coat or is it heavy? How heavy?
What does my anxiety coat look like today? Is it a coat of many colours, patterned, or a single colour?
I imagine taking off my anxiety coat.
How do I feel with my anxiety coat off?
What am I going to do with my anxiety coat? Does it go on a hook, or over the back of a chair, or in the closet, or packed away for a few months or longer?
I imagine putting away my anxiety coat.
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Rainy Day Healing blogs: “This kind of quiet, honest reflection is exactly what makes Rainy Day Healing such a special space.” Chaz. T., USA
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